Possible Psychosis, what to do?

I just want everything to stop. I somehow manage to deal with everyday I go to work and I brainwash myself to go through the day. when really I feel like panicking, and it's not that I feel like it. I just feel panic. It's like Chaos. Nothing Makes sense. I'm going nowhere. I just want to be alone with my fiancee. but I have to face all my family, friends, and coworkers etc. through the day. I feel best when I can hyperventilate really, Panic attacks can be the best feeling in the world when no ones around to get freaked out. Sometimes I feel like strangling someone and then myself, but I just Sit there.... I just stare into space and feel like I can do nothing. Sometimes I can't even move or speak it's so overwhelming. I think about going into therapy all the time but that stresses me out cause I don't want to talk to them... or anyone or involve anyone in my issues (besides I'm very broke). I'm a good faker I guess and they'll just diagnose me with depression or something. I DO NOT want anyone to know what's going on. And Sometimes I just wish I could go and let her take over but I don't know what she'll do. I'll just be helpless to watch as she does what she will. I feel just stuck. Everything is so overwhelming.... and I just want everything to be put on pause for a year or so. I'm frightened of people yet... I somehow manage to put on a happy face everyday. and I am alone looking back not recognizing this person at all. I'm playing too many people and I can only identify two with names. Anyway, I don't know what to say or how to explain any more but hopefully someone can make sense out of my nonsense. I just don't want to get up to face another day, again and again. The only thing that keeps me going is my fiancee... He makes me happy.