Wednesday, August 17, 2011

How do I make this paragraph more clear?

It's a pretty clear paragraph to me, and it's quite easy to understand. My only comments would be that it is rather dry, with a lot of point-blank facts and not much explanation. My only advice would be to try and explain more, i.e. why the ballet groups fused, if the people loved them and not just critics, etc. Hope this helps!

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